“The Untouchable Within” – Jung, shadow and the C of E on YouTube

Encountering “the untouchable within” leads to a spring that revives passion for life, a desire to love again, a will to struggle for what really matters and the courage to move boldly forward – so declares Canon Mark Oakley during a sermon at St Paul’s Cathedral in London.

Employing Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow, Fr Oakley draws out the healing potential of encountering the dark and scary parts within us to which no one can come near  - including ourselves.

He explains that as the human self grows, it learns to fit in and to keep others happy (parents, teachers, peers, colleagues). We develop what Jung termed a persona – a social self that we present to the outside world. In reality, the persona is that which we are not, but which we and others think that we are. It is a mask which makes us acceptable, which enables us to fit in and to meet the expectations of others.

The downside of this is that in order to meet these external expectations we have to suppress parts of ourselves – emotions, qualities, character traits, talents, different sides to us, feelings and so on – essential parts of who we are, but that don’t fit with the mask.

“I am afraid to tell you who I am because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like it – and it’s all I’ve got.” Rather than risk being hurt, we hide. In that hiding we are in danger of losing our intimate self and becoming a non-self in our relationships.

We become wary or scared of these suppressed parts of ourselves, because at some point in our lives they were rejected by another person, causing us to feel ashamed of them.

And yet….these parts that we feel are forbidden to us may include our desire to grow up and change, to be original, to speak our thoughts, to be alone, to express our sexuality, to express strong emotions such as fear, anger or tenderness, to experiment with vulnerability, to live creatively, to live the life we dream about, to make mistakes, to have an intimate life and to love and to be loved.

Canon Oakley warns that these parts of ourselves get pushed into a garbage bag, which gets heavier and heavier as the years go by. No one may go near it. This garbage bag is what Jung termed our shadow.

These dark parts of ourselves will always come out in the end – perhaps in our unconscious acts or through somatic illness. For Fr Oakley, its loudest voice is depression.

Following Jung, Canon Oakley suggests we all face an appointment with the shadow at some point in our lives, especially in mid-life, when the demand to deepen our life journey becomes more acute.

The shadow may be recognised and explored but, as Fr Oakley notes, we often need help to do so. Facing our shadow can help us to become whole.

For Canon Oakley (as for Jung) the shadow’s playground is our dream life, for this is where the unconscious tries to communicate when we need to listen to our deeper self. This is why dreams were thought to be sacred and of God, speaking out of the unseen depths. In Jungian analysis the interpretation of dreams is used to listen to the unconscious.

Jung was very aware of the real danger of the unintegrated shadow – not just to individuals, but also to communities, groups and even nations. Fr Oakley warns, in particular, of the danger of projecting our unacknowledged parts onto others  - whether we are idealising them or loathing them, whether we are fascinated by them or terrified of them in some way. Projecting our shadow is harmful because it distorts relationships and prevents us from relating to or seeing the real person. It can lead to scapegoating (hence Christ’s commandment to love our enemies – they are the ones bearing our shadow that we have projected onto them).

Canon Oakley suggests that taking the shadow seriously may be seen as a spiritual exercise:

- examine what it is that you envy and dislike in others – and acknowledge it in yourself

- listen to yourself and the criticisms you make about others

- note what you tend to avoid in conversations with others

- identify what you find most flattering about yourself – and what you have had to suppress to achieve it

- observe in what situations you become defensive, sensitive, nervous

- become aware of the situations in which you feel embarrassed, panicky, or inferior at the thought of someone seeing weakness in you

- note what compliments you can’t take and what criticism irritates you

- identify what values your family most upheld and what they made the culture at home – and then see, what you had to keep hidden during those years

- analyse your dreams

- be attentive to your fantasies and day dreams when bored – another part of you is coming out to play

- be attentive to your humour and your cruelty

- at times of transition, in particular, become aware of what you are suppressing

Acknowledging the drives of your shadow does not mean obeying them, but taking responsibility for them.

Your shadow cries out for you to befriend it. It won’t make you prefect, but it will make you integrated, more complete and less tortured, encourages Canon Oakley.

To watch Canon Oakely’s sermon in full on YouTube click here.

Integrating the shadow (“touching the untouchable within”) is an important part of the individuation journey and of any Jungian analysis. As Jung noted, the shadow can be 80% pure gold – in other words, there is a huge amount of positive un-lived potential and inner life in the shadow too.

To touch the untouchable within is the road to healing. If you would like to speak to someone about psychotherapy or Jungian analysis click here.

St Paul’s Cathedral in London can be contacted through their website – click here

Posted on 12 July 2011